NEW lj tho, for those who are interested is simply : pyrotechgoddess

This LJ sucks.
It's depressive and dark and shitty.
I'mma get a new one.

Goodbye, LJ of Shit.

''I don't normally beg for assistance
I rely on my own eyes to see
But right now they make no sense to me
Right now you make no sense to me''

Yeah.. Life's a rollercoaster. I know it'll make me stronger.. I just wish I could get challenges of another type, if you get me..

And Drake, hon.. What would you rather have?
An absent father, or a father that drove you to attempting suicide and is destroying what you used to be able to call home, and that fucked up most-part of your childhood?
I think the answer is clear.
I'd rather have an absent one, anyway. *shakes her head*
Remember, Ignorance is bliss.. '

I'm tired.. But I'm not sad anymore.. I'm just tired, and when I think of him I feel the anger pumping in me.. But it's under control. I have wonderful friends. Thanks.

I also have a wonderful mother, and I hate seeing her in pain. Regardless of her hurt, she always thinks about me and my best.. I feel ingrateful.
Tomorrow I'm going to search for a job. Hopefully that will make her happier.

*nods* I love my life, no matter it's ups and downs. Somehow I'm always in love, and it always helps alot. ^-^~ And there's so many people doing worse than me, having a worse time. I'll manage.
I feel calm now..

I think I lost it because it all hit me so heavily.. Leaving my friends, and Italy, coming home to a destroyed family and brothers and mother hurting, coming home in general, being worried about all the things I worry about.. It just hit my shoulders too fast, too hard. I got it under control now.

*smiles softly* Yes, I'm content.

I love you, all..
Peas and beans, Ching.

Deleted.. He's reading what I write.

I'm home. It sucks.

Mia, I am never alone.

Two nights ago, I watched my tagging friends tag down a trainstation near Rome.
We watched from a distance, those of us who does not tag.
It was like this: They were tagging down the station, and we others were sitting about 150 m up the street, in a little park, smoking. As usual. ^^*
Then we saw a guard. HAHA. He came out from the ticket-office, stopped dead, and then screamed ''Mortacci vostra!'' before he leapt after my three tagging friends, who then decided it was time to leave.
But they hadn't made an escape plan! Oh no, what shall we do?! Two of the three runs in our direction toward the park. The other one just decides to run down to the station, where there's no way out. He'd be trapped. When he like two seconds later realizes that he's not being followed by his friends, he runs up to the guard again, points a spray bottle in this face, the guard jumps back 2 m atleast, and our friend is safe. Almost.
All three of them ran past the park we sat in. -.- They actually ran pretty far away. We spent the whole night calling them, because without them we couldn't get home. They're our drivers.

It was a hilarious scene. I've decided to start tagging when I go back to norway. *nods* Who wants to join???!

Yesterday I talked to Grandma on the phone. She is doing good. She told me about the situation with dad and stuff. I don't know anymore, what to do.. I'll just ride it off. We'll see.

Tomorrow, I'mma go to some place strange. All the girls are going, we're going to have sooo much fun! It'll be an excellent end to our friendship. *shudders* Ah, anzi.. Our friendships will never end. Our time together, on the other hand, will.

I'm sorry I can't write mails, browser is being a bitch.

Peas and beans.. Ching.

Haha.
My life is funny.
Yesternight we went to Anna's 18 party. And afterwards we just had fun. I'll explain *everything* laterz.
Peas and Beans.

Absolutely.

I never knew, Siggah. I never knew.
Now I've spread your immense .. ly.. entertaining.. LJ to MANY ONLINE FRIENDS!.
How can you be that extremely.. ... entertaining? I just don't get it.
I just can't comprehend it.

Anyhow.
I've got a cats hair caught in my piercing, fuck. I can't get it out, and it's tickeling my tongue.

... I think I might have to kill that cat. And Luca too. If so happens that one of his hairs gets stuck in my piercing then I just might die.
*burps*

And guess what happened the other day? I just happened to decide to steal a virginhood. But I've now realized that that's a thing I'm never going to do again. Religion or no religion, fuck you.
That virginhood just so happened to have a really small penis too. .. Size matters. I'm under the impression that italians either have huge penises or really small penises. This was one of those small ones, which I'm sad to say, is the majority.
SIZE MATTERS.

I got an urinal infection. It hurts when I pee. I have to drink huge amounts of juice. There's blood coming out of my potato, when it's technically not supposed to at all. It freaks me, or infact grosses me out the door. I had to SPEND the night (I LOVE TO SLEEP, for those of you who had no idea) on the toilet. =(

All this reminds me of the extremely sad thing that happened in Prague. I just want to cry. I'mma go nun.

When I think about the stuff that happens to me, I just wonder what I ever did to the world?
I'm a nice person? I haven't really done anything bad? I'm NICE! Goddamnit.
I don't hurt people. Only .. some selected ones from time to time. I'm nice to my parents. I'm supportive of my brothers. I love my dog. I'm a good friend. I might be evil and mean sometimes, but not *that* often.

.. =/ Shit now I made myself feel bad. Yeah, I know, there's alot of children in Africa that has a harder time than me. But I mean.. They have like a hard time, they've reached the bottom right?
And then there's the people who have like the tops of the times.. And then there's those like me, who're stuck in the middle, not managing to balance anything. It's annoying.
That's what it is. It's annoying and frustrating.

Peas.

I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose I swear I'll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
 The broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?